Holidays! Time to scramble around and buy stuff that has a 90-percent chance of hanging out in a garage until it's sent to the Goodwill. If you don't do this every year, you're basically Friedrich Engels and awful.
It was easy to buy gifts for Giants fans last year.
Them: This is just a paper bag with "Giants 2014 Champs Three In Five Suckers That's What's Up Hell Yeah" written on it.
You: I know.
Them: I love it!
This year takes a little more finesse.