The Colorado Rockies beat the San Francisco Giants 6-4 on Thursday. I lead with this boring detail so that I can scratch it off my literary to-do list, and get to talking about much more interesting things: clothes.
If you put aside the whole ability to play baseball thing (and I highly recommend that you do), the Rockies made fools of themselves on Thursday. Really embarrassing stuff. It was a clothing debacle the likes of which I haven’t seen since 1997, when my mom called me down from me room saying it was late and we needed to hurry, and I jumped down the steps wearing my Mickey Mouse undies on my head and my legs stuffed through a turtleneck.