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Pitcher’s duel tips in favor of the Dodgers, Giants lose 1-0

Buckle up, y’all – it’s gonna be a somewhat bumpy start today.

Once upon a time, I used to live in the strange world of Los Angeles. My apartment stood high on a hill that overlooked both East L.A. and downtown, a nestled little juxtaposition that I would tend to appreciate on days where I didn’t have to be given the Heimlich maneuver from literally biting down on the smog and choking.

I played the traffic game (a provocative adventure that includes screaming your internal organs out onto your dashboard when your car moves an entire six inches after three hours), the “wait, can I actually park here at this time?