It turns out that baseball’s current affectation isn’t just boring the purists, it’s angering up the blue bloods.
You’re probably hip to the talking points. The game is all home runs and strikeouts, absent all risk/reward gambits because the actuarial tables say they’re a bad idea. Starting pitchers throw five innings and are triumphantly carried off the field on a padded litter fit for Cleopatra.
Then comes a parade of 100-mph relievers sucking the hyperbole from Reggie Jackson’s once hyperbolic assessment of Nolan Ryan: “He could throw a marshmallow through a battleship.” These days, who can’t?
You could hum “American Pie” in the time between batted balls.