Giants lose to Yankees 7-3 despite first-inning offensive explosion

Photo by Daniel Shirey/Getty Images ...And happy Metallica Night for allThere would have been something so appropriate about the Giants setting a major league record for offensive futility. We’ve been watching the offense flail and fail since the 2016 All-Star Break, and the record for most consecutive scoreless first innings to open a season would have just been right, like if your terrible uncle wasn’t at Thanksgiving, and so you got way too drunk and invented new racial slurs just so people wouldn’t miss him too much.

It was not to be. Now, sure, the Giants did set a National League record for offensive futility, but it’s just not the same. It’s like replacing your terrible uncle by using…