I can’t make you watch a baseball game. I don’t have those powers yet, though I am asking for that to be included in my job description going forward. I’ll keep you updated.
I also can’t help you go back in time, though I’ve already put in the request with the higher-ups to have a time machine expensed.
If those two work perks come through, then I’ll make you — yes, you, internet stranger who opted to spend their Saturday night not watching the San Francisco Giants play the Los Angeles Dodgers — go back to 6:10 p.