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Giants kick off Memorial Day weekend with a boring loss

Did you expect the San Francisco Giants to lose this game? I did.

Did it still hurt to spend two and a half hours watching it unfold, with intimacy and slow-played inevitability befitting a horror film? Absolutely.

In other words, it was basically A Quiet Place, with Joe Maddon featured as the monsters, Wrigley Field the dystopian New York countryside, and Brandon Belt as John Krasinski, because they’re both tall, goofy, but very handsome bearded men.

Apologies, I’m getting off track here. It’s just that there was pretty much nothing interesting in this game.