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Herhold: The 49ers and Santa Clara: A failing marriage

In my analogy, the two sides are living in separate parts of the house, trying to avoid one another.

If you want to understand why the relationship between the San Francisco 49ers and Santa Clara’s political leadership has broken down — and why the lawyers have been summoned — you could do worse than consider the analogy of a failing marriage.

Marriage counselors will tell you that the most common reasons people cite for divorce are lack of commitment, infidelity, too much arguing, marrying too young, unrealistic expectations, and a lack of equality between the partners.

With the exception of infidelity — the two sides are bound to each other contractually for another 37 years, so changing partners is difficult — almost all of those factors are present in the current fracas between Jed York’s 49ers and a city led by Mayor Lisa Gillmor.