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Zlatan has something to tell you: 'I don't need to dream. I am the dream.'

LOS ANGELES -- Early June, morning. Zlatan has just finished wind-sprinting, vomiting and showering (in that order). The hurling -- it's standard. "I need to suffer today," he tells the LA Galaxy's physical trainer upon arriving at the team's facility. Which the trainer took to mean: again.

"I need to work," Zlatan explains. "When I suffer, I feel good." It's a theatrical and self-regarding thing to say. He clearly knows it, and knows that I know it, too. Which is why, being Zlatan, he then issues a pirate's grin and doubles down. "You just missed it!