It’s a safe bet that Tim Duncan did not sit down to compose a welcome letter — with a pencil, no less — for new teammate/successor LaMarcus Aldridge. (He’s got better things to do, like playing paint ball, or hanging out at his body shop, or polishing his knife collection.)
But if Duncan did, it might read a little something like this gag note at Will Ferrell’s Funny or Die. If you can get over the fact that Duncan is actually 39, not 12, it’s a fairly humorous send-up of his notoriously reserved image. (Although not nearly as good as that Foot Locker ad.