1. In one of the more "get off my lawn" rants you'll ever see, Northwestern football coach Pat Fitzgerald somehow blamed smartphones for the decline in college football attendance.
"I think phones, I think technology has been the decline in attendance,' said Fitzgerald in a sentence that didn't exactly make total sense on Friday.
He later added that fans would, "rather have 12 TVs set up in their TV watching cave than go to a game and experience the pagenatry and tailgating."
Northwestern head coach Pat Fitzgerald puts NCAA football's attendance problem and really society's eventual downfall in perspective:
Phones.