The 2016 offseason should be an especially relaxing few months for Tom Brady. Think about it: this is the first offseason of his professional football career where he won’t lose sleep worrying about the coming year’s playoff showdown with Peyton Manning. He can just kickback on one of his home’s dozen porches, overseeing the construction of an additional wing, which we can only assume will feature an interdimensional portal and a fully functional Starkiller Base. Glad to see he’s enjoying his time off, but, ugh — all that noise…yuck! Luckily, Tom Terrific has a solution: noise-canceling headphones.
Those things are great for blocking out any and all distractions, like the ping of jackhammers, or the sound of reporters asking him about his unwavering support for Donald Trump’s Presidential campaign.