Dear Adam Archuleta ...
A "Dirty Sanchez" mustache isn't what you think it is -- it's WAYYYY WORSE -- and you probably shouldn't be referencing during an NFL game ON LIVE TV!!
For those unaware, a "Dirty Sanchez" is most commonly described on Urban Dictionary as a temporary mustache wiped on to one's face ... and it's comprised of fecal matter.
In other words, it's a poop 'stache!
Good times, huh?!
Anyway, Archuleta -- former NFL star turned broadcaster -- was working the Bills vs. Dolphins game for CBS this weekend with Spero Dedes when Spero asked if Adam could grow a mustache by next week.