The sheriff says LeBron James and his infamous Cavalier gang are wanted for robbing McDougal’s Savings & Loan at the center of town today. James and his posse reportedly hid out in Smith’s General Store overnight, smashed through the wall into the savings and loan early this morning, broke into the vault and took off with more than $300 in cash and another $700 worth of gold bullion.
The robbery comes after local old man Phil Jackson had warned citizens that James and his posse were up to no good. But few heeded his words because he has known to spout nonsense after imbibing on herbs he purchases from a local Native American tribe.