O CAPTAIN, MY CAPTAIN
Dave Portnoy says he's lucky to be alive after his most recent boat outing ... claiming he made a critical mistake that could've resulted in tragedy -- but luckily, the U.S. Coast Guard came through and saved the day.
The Barstool Sports founder detailed the whole incident on Monday ... saying he took his mom out on a ride. Nice gesture, right?? Well, when it came time to return to land, Portnoy said he unhooked the vessel from the buoys before turning on the engine ... and as luck would have it, the boat was totally dead.