Dear HR dept,
As the new head coach of the New York Giants, I humbly request that the contents of my new office be returned to their previous owner, former head coach Thomas Richard Coughlin. I’m not sure if he’s planning to come back and pick up what he left in there, but I’m eager to get to work and I’m afraid he might walk through the door and see me touching his stuff. I heard he once caught Kevin Gilbride in there looking for a dry erase marker and the next day he showed up at practice noticeably shaken with a bandage covering the area where his mustache once was.