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Monson: No snow job — Real Salt Lake skates to victory for the first time in eight months

Related Topics: Chinchilla, Real Salt Lake

He also had compared RSL's offense to a caged animal. What … a caged bunny? A caged hamster? A caged chinchilla? No … turned out, it was a caged penguin, no … a caged polar bear, with teeth and claws.

Petke got much more than patient progression on Saturday night, as his team whipped the Whitecaps in a whiteout, 3-0, at Rio Tinto Stadium, a place that was transformed by a wicked spring blizzard into … a mix of Lambeau Freakin' Field and the polar ice cap.

"These conditions were the craziest I've ever played in," Real midfielder Albert Rusnák said, afterward.