At a little before 6:00 am this morning, my girlfriend woke me up in something of a start. The fire alarms were going off, and there was a dull smell of smoke in the air. For the second time in as many months, one of the shared apartments in my building had tried to burn the place to the ground through careless indiscretion through baking or some other calamitous, perhaps more damning thoughtlessness - they were nowhere to be found when we had to call the fire department.
As always, we are fine, and humans suck, but some of them can dunk and I'm already up, so let's talk about them.