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Darrell Hazell To Return in 2016: Time For Plan B

Earlier this evening our esteemed leader Morgan Burke announced that Darrell Hazell will be returning to coach the Boilermakers in 2016. Despite a 6-27 record, top recruits decommiting, getting blown out by mediocre opponents in Minnesota, Illinois, and Virginia Tech at home, dwindling attendance, current players regressing, and generally no discernible signs of progress, Burke made a Pravda-esque statement that there are signs of progress that we just aren’t seeing:

I guess the fact that Ross-Ade Stadium has not yet burned to the ground can be considered progress. Thankfully, since fewer and fewer people go there anymore no one will be hurt.