Three into two does not go.
With Southampton already relegated, come 19:00 BST on Sunday, two of Everton, Leeds and Leicester will be contemplating trips to Plymouth, Ipswich and Millwall in the Championship next season, while the survivor will toast a great escape.
So, on the eve of a critical final day of the Premier League season, we asked our fan writers for their heartfelt pleas to their heroes as they battle to stay in the division.
17th - Everton, two points clear of drop zone
Mike Richards, Unholy Trinity
I've started writing this piece countless times before eventually accepting the words that truly express our feelings heading into Sunday.