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Steelers vs. Patriots, Week 15: Previewing the huge AFC matchup from top to bottom

Related Topics: Week, Mark Twain

Mike Tomlin, a man who has pioneered more widely-accepted colloquialisms than Mark Twain, found himself trapped in a maelstrom of metaphors and literalities during his weekly press conference on Tuesday.

Tomlin attempted to contextualize his feelings about the Steelers’ upcoming showdown with the New England Patriots as follows: “It's good to be in the kitchen. The kitchen's in Pittsburgh, PA, this week in the National Football League, and at Heinz Field.” This is kind of like if Van Gogh followed his “The conscience is a man’s compass” figure of speech with, “Compasses are designed in a way that aligns with the Earth’s magnetic field.