Professional sports are a collective entertainment medium where optimism and hopefulness routinely subvert rationality and levelheadedness, where rooting interests are staked in players—who, aside from their superhero musculatures and extrasensory reflexes, are fallible human people—whose worldviews may be fundamentally at odds with those of the viewer at home, and where blithely disregarding the home team’s failings and shortcomings while correspondingly reveling in the opposition’s schadenfreude is all part of the natural order of things. To be a sports fan is to thrust yourself headlong into a violent and unpredictable vortex in the hope that maybe, just maybe, your favorite team will throw you a lifeline.