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Can the Penguins Be Fixed?

A few days ago, long-time PenguinPoop contributor and commenter James Arthurs offered what I thought was the most astute analogy I’ve read concerning the present plight of our Penguins. Jim wrote:

The Penguins used to be like a brand new sports car. Top speed of 140 miles an hour and was fun to drive. Now 18 years and 200,000 miles later, the brakes are worn, the tires aren’t what they used to be, the engine leaks oil and the car can only go 130 miles an hour for brief periods. At top speed it isn’t so much fun to drive.