There was a rookie on the mound and a bunch of strangers at the plate as the Phillies gave the Cardinals a Father's Day pounding.
There are a lot of things the Phillies do wrong, so when they do anything right, it can be jarring, or confusing.
"What is this? What's happening?" we cried all afternoon, as the Phillies knocked in run after run until their total sat at nine. Fathers ignored their children's homemade cards and barely rehearsed musical numbers; meat was burned beyond recognition on untended grills; key joke set-ups were missed entirely as dads everywhere couldn't look away from the somehow-functioning Phillies offense.