So you took your family to a Sunday afternoon Phillies game, thinking they could go nine innings without being scarred. You thought wrong.
The bald head. The sad, distant stare. The way he just stands there and draws a walk, as if he doesn't even care what's happening. Being Canadian. There are many reasons we assumed Joey Votto was a sociopath, and now we know for certain.
It was a beautiful afternoon for baseball, you assured your kids, as you piled them into the car. On the way to the field, maybe you related stories of when your own parents would take you to ball games, and of the Phillies heroes of your childhood: Scott Rolen, Gregg Jefferies, Rico Brogna, Marlon Anderson, Desi Relaford - the whole gang!