The Winter Meetings haven’t started yet, but the Phillies have already started their mission.
Code name: O.C.T.O.B.E.R.
Offseason Calculated Tactical Operation Bringing Evalvated Record
Does the mission sound difficult? Possibly. Is it overly complicated? Yes, needlessly so. Will there be casualties?
Sadly, yes. There has already been a casualty. Cole Hamels has fallen to the evil Atlantians. They’ve wiped his mind. He’s now under their team control.
We mustn’t give up hope. The Phillies have already brought in reinforcements to combat the menace. They’ve hired a mercenary from Flushing, Queens.
Zack Wheeler.
… So the overly dramatic futuristic NL East war drama isn’t working for you?