By now, you have heard.
"Ken Giles has been traded!" bellowed the street urchins as the sun rose this morning. Their prepubescent shouts echoed up the bricks through your bedroom window, and you could only lift your tear-stained cheeks off your pillow long enough to scream into the phone that you would not be coming into work today.
And why should you? All of the players on the Phillies you idolized and/or were deeply attracted to are gone. In the past year we've lost Chase, Jimmy, Cole, Chase's arms, Jake Diekman, and Chase's face.