LADIES AND gentlemen of the class of 2015:
Welcome to hell, you snot-nosed goobers. Look around you. Drink it in. And get used to it. Because this, right here, is life as a Philadelphia sports fan. You want somebody to powder your little Snapchatting, Kardashian-watching, non-value-judging rear ends with uplifting tales of hope and positivity? There's the exit. Move somewhere else. Otherwise, listen up.
For over a decade, we had to keep our anger and cynicism under wraps while you little turds got to enjoy one of the greatest eras in Philadelphia sports history. Thirty-two playoff berths.