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John Middleton: Let’s Get Stupid

After the Washington Nationals signed free agent pitcher Patrick Corbin, Phillies owner John Middleton called a meeting with team president Andy MacPhail and general manager Matt Klentak to discuss how the team’s offseason plans were progressing.

Thanks to a super-duper secret inside source within the organization, I was able to get a transcript of that conversation.

Middleton: Thank you for coming gentlemen. I want to get right to the point here. I’ve been tracking what other teams have been doing, and I have just one question: WHY AREN’T WE SPENDING MONEY?