With 1/162 of the season completed, I think it's time to make some sweeping conclusions about the team based on the evidence at hand. Honestly, this is probably past due. I should have written this in the sixth inning of Thursday’s game.
Note: I used to write things like this with the naive belief that people could pick up on sarcasm. I have learned that no matter how blindingly obvious I think I’m being, some people will still miss it. So, let’s make it clear: This piece has been written with a sarcastic tone, and I think drawing any conclusions about a baseball team after one game is foolish.