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Bryce Harper probably about to destroy Phillies pitching

After decimating a major American city, Bryce Harper is turning his sights on the Phillies. Yes, that little bit of home- and-away NL West scheduling was nice, but now the Phillies have to play a team with more than one good player.

Take Bryce Harper for example. Bryce Harper has been such an advantage in the Nationals' lineup that the umpires are ejecting him just to even things out. His recent success has passed the necessary threshold for the New York Times to lavish him with slobber usually reserved solely for the sad old men who are so lovingly referred to as "legends," granting Harper the privilege of being compared to their city's team.