Phillies-killers aren’t about nuance. They’re about blunt force trauma. They’re about punching the Phillies as hard as possible for six or seven games a season (more if they’re on a divisional opponent). They’re about being completely genial, normal people who for some reason walk into Citizens Bank Park and have their eye balls turn a hellish red, their mind fill with thunderstorms, and find themselves with a full body itch that is relieved only by beating the Phillies.
There’s a few Rockies who have been around long enough to have seen their share of Phillies teams, but Mark Reynolds and Ian Desmond have never successfully taken the Phillies to task.