To the 2017 Eagles:
We give up.
Sincerely,
The Haters
Seriously — we give up. There’s nothing left to doubt. All season, you’ve played us like some carnival game, your surface riddled with holes that we mistook for weaknesses. Every time something popped out, we would swing and we’d miss, and then you’d smile at us as if you knew something we didn’t. It was always the same: After you lost your starting middle linebacker, and then your starting left tackle, and then a starting quarterback en route for the league MVP.