Why’d the Vikings draft Malaki Starks? Simple: he’s the “Safety” in our plans, the “Starks” in our starting lineup, and the guy who’ll make opposing offenses ask, “Wait, since when does a safety run like a WR and tackle like a linebacker?”
At 24th overall, Starks wasn’t just the best player on our board—he was the *only* player who could outrun our Zoom meetings. His 4.42 speed? Faster than our PR team deletes bad film clips. His tackling? Like a vacuum cleaner for ball carriers. And that football IQ? He’s got the read-chart of a chess grandmaster but the aggression of a toddler snatching toys.