The sun rose on Philadelphia, bringing with it a new age of Sixers basketball. Not only has the team secured its first win, staving off their seeming fate as the NBA's new legend of sucking, but the mayor proudly announced Friday morning that Jahlil Okafor had not been involved in a drunken street fight for over 36 hours.
With the city blossoming with chipper "how-ya-do's" and sprightly "fine, thank you's," a report surfaced that Dario Saric, the player who Sam Hinkie has kept in Turkey as part of a program he explained as "witness protection but for basketball," will join the Sixers next season.