Allow me to set the scene. It was Thursday night. I had just begun to digest a reheated sweet potato / wild rice burger I’d shared with my devoted girlfriend Gabrielle (brag), curled up on the couch next to her and our foster dog Rosco — a beguiling mix between an English Bulldog and Dalmatian whom we’re already heartbroken to not keep — as I surreptitiously snuck a peak at some first-half action between the intrepid, short-handed Sixers and the ever-annoying Toronto Raptors via the MyTeams app (Survivor occupying the TV screen, at the moment). Just then, a third of my iPhone 7 (second brag) screen was obstructed by one of the most feared push notifications known to man, woman, or Delaware-county-dwelling-child: The Athletic’s Shams Charania had a new (and somehow even worse) update on the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad, inescapable saga between Ben Simmons and the Philadelphia 76ers.
Daryl Morey must cut his losses and send Ben Simmons home
