This week, Penn State Head Bald Coach James Franklin appeared as “Tommy Boy” Callahan, in a tiny sailboat on Lake Erie, without any wind. Mouth agape, yet mute, screaming silently, confused, bewildered, and disconsolate - it fit our Nittany Lions’ 0-3 start.

And Then The Press Conference Started

Opening Statement: Like always, I want to thank everybody for coming on and covering Penn State football. A quick summary of the [Maryland] game. I know there’s gonna be a bunch of questions, but a quick summary of the game. You know, we did not win the turnover battle, which continues to be an issue for us, and we did not win the explosive play battle, the two most important stats in any football game, and we weren’t able to win those categories.