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College football Bottom 10: Penn State, Illinois worse than we bargained for

[Editor's note: The nation's last two winless teams stayed winless while a pair of Big Ten teams played themselves into the Coveted Fifth Spot, though it took nine overtimes to get there.]

Inspirational thought of the week:

So close, yet so far from paradise
I hold, you in my arms, in paradise
Is mine, then you slip away
Like a child at play, and here am I
So close, yet so far from paradise

When you, are close to me, it's paradise
We kiss, oh my love, paradise
Is mine, then suddenly you're gone from me
Like a floating star, I see, and here am I
So close, yet so far from paradise

-- "So Close, Yet So Far," Elvis Presley

Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, located somewhere in the middle of that giant white cloud left behind by David Pollack's perpetual tornado of protein powder, we deal in the business of heartbreak.