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Carl Nassib, Destroyer of Worlds

Carl Nassib's 18.5 tackles for loss through Penn State's first nine games slots him 2nd, behind Aaron Maybin's 20 in 2008, for most TFLs in a season by any Penn State defender in the last decade. Even more impressive, he's done it all on a diet of chicken and rice from Chipotle (source: ESPN), a fast food franchise which attempts to poison people with e coli, and is doing so very successfully.

Nassib apparently possesses some immunity from e coli, in addition to his awesome football skills.

This is not Indiana, after all.