Dearly beloved, we are gathered here this evening not to eulogize a soccer season, but to celebrate a group of soccer supporters.
We are here to pay our respects to an announced crowd of 23,723 Orlando City fans who showed up Saturday night to watch a meaningless late-season scoreless draw between their free-falling franchise and the Houston Dynamo.
Bless your hearts.
Bless your passionate, pumping purple hearts.
You could be doing anything else on a Saturday night in September.
You could be home watching the Florida-Tennessee game on ESPN.
You could be home watching Mississippi State-Kentucky on ESPN2.