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Quack Fix 9-15-2018: Fear the Spartans, mate

No fewer than twelve college teams have a Spartan mascot, the most well known of course being our friends at Michigan State. But did you know that the University of the Sunshine Coast in Queensland Australia are also Spartans? Of course they play footy by strange and different rules there, but they can do pretty much whatever they want because they’re fucking Australian mate, and can wrestle crocs with one hand while not spilling a drop of their Fosters in the other.

But today we play the decidedly less exotic Spartans from San Jose State, who can likely wrestle a calculator with one hand while not spilling a drop of chablis in the other.