"What is this? It is a prolate spheroid, an elongated sphere-in which the outer leather casing is drawn tightly over a somewhat smaller rubber tubing. Better to have died as a small boy than to fumble this football."
That's (supposedly) a quote from the venerable John Heisman, and it's probably important to note that when he (again, maybe allegedly possibly) said it kids were still dying in infancy from pretty horrible things like rabid weasel attacks and spotted grapefruit flu.
And yet, despite this dire warning from the man who we literally name the most important individual award in college football after, the 2019 Michigan Wolverines continue to spit in the face of a legend by fumbling with gleeful impunity.