In that universe gaudy point spreads and triple-digit scoring fantasies are a relic from a dark era of Scarlet Knight history. The days of averaging tens of fans at home games are long gone. Packed, scarlet-clad sections of the stadium are cheering for the local team instead of the visiting one.
Alas, in this universe jokes are all we have when The Birthplace™ of College Football - the sport's most cobwebbed uterus - arrives on Ohio State's schedule. Over here antiquated NCAA rules are the only thing that can prevent Chase Young from getting chunks of Rutgers stuck in his teeth.