The Cleveland Cavaliers tip off the NBA Finals against the Golden State Warriors at 9:00 p.m. on ABC. Don't alert Cavs fans, but I hit a backdoor portal onto their swag-wagon. I don't expect Cleveland to win; Golden State is impossible to beat when it is shooting well, let alone over a seven game series.
But if Cleveland does pull off the upset... I promise the internet I will deliver the post-championship riot coverage it deserves. Somebody just be sure to put the Pulitzer in the mail so my mom can put something on her fireplace mantle in memorial to her mediocre son after I succumb to gunshot wounds suffered during the championship fracas.