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Miami Martell, Jeff Hafley's Schemes, and an Astounding Number of Transfers

By Day Four of Kevin's absence, the ranks are depleted. Morale is low. We need a hero: someone to erase all of Ramzy's obscure references and save us from Johnny's hip-hop allusions that no one understands. Unfortunately for you, I am no hero.

That's right, it's the intern's time to shine crash-and-burn. I have finally received my license, Kevin has given me the keys, and I can not wait to crash this piece into a wall while getting absolutely obliterated in the comments below. On that positive note, let us begin.

ICYMI

Word of the Day: Incipient

MIAMI MARTELL

The Miami version of Tate Martell is more than just a 2019 version of Spring Breakers.