Before I get started with this, I just now realized that writing an article in the middle of June about the necessity of less football in August and September is a Sisyphean task that I should probably give up on. I'm fairly certain that the remaining 900 words or so of this thing could be a copied and pasted Reader's Digest article from 1998 about Monica Lewinsky and no one would actually notice because 90% of you have moved on to animated .gifs of cats and dogs falling asleep on top of each other or something equally adorable.
It's already happened, hasn't it?