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If We're Lucky, Conference Realignment Might Not Turn Out to Be As Copacetic As Commissioners Had Hoped

James "Jimmy" Littlebottom IV had just paid $394.37 to take his family, for the first time in any of their lives, to attend a Texas Longhorns football game.

That accounted for roughly 220 bucks to get in the door, with his wife (Sarah) and two kids (Jimmy Five and Kaeleigh), another 65 for nachos, drinks, and some kind of meat stuffed into three other kinds of meat, 75 for hats and shirts (immediately baptized by nacho cheese), and 20 just for the privilege of parking four miles away in a lot owned by a man happily nicknamed Shifty.