CAESAR: “Et tu, Brute?”
BRUTUS: "Go Bucks!"
It's been 2060 years since Brutus snatched Caesar's chain. Some historians claim it as Ohio State's first victory.
Caesar lacked vision. Why didn't he just become the lovable mascot of The Ohio State University? E. Gordon Gee made him a fair offer: Submit or die by sword.
Caesar scoffed. "You don't have the heart to roll those dice," he said, unaware his flippancy already rolled them.
Brutus went on to found a landgrant university in Ohio. Caesar got disemboweled. E. Gordon Gee, still messed up from the time change, sipped warm milk and went to bed an hour early.