Nebraska's never been more glad to have its ass kicked on national television.
The last time Ohio State met Nebraska on the football field, the Buckeyes were up 38 points at the half and the poor corn folks had to hold onto their damn balloons for almost three quarters of play before performing their mass littering ritual.
It was an absolute bloodbath, and today's contest has a chance to be even worse. But regardless of the final score, you can bet Nebraska fans will be beaming like masochists because their team may get stuck through a meat processor, but at least they have a chance to play!