Pondered retiring "Get Dumped Then" after last year's Fiesta Bowl debacle. But then I looked at GDT's 35-3 record that includes a sterling 3-0 mark against that bum syndicate up north.
Professional gamblers would slit a man's throat for returns like that.
So here I stand on the precipice of another season with FourLoko Gold surging through my veins like a raging bull with its balls tied like a clown balloon. And who do I see on tap? Indiana!
Folks, the Hoosiers are about to get their feelings hurt.
Indiana is a small, insignificant state that bills itself as "the Crossroads of America" because, much like a slattern in a medieval tavern, they know their calling in life is letting humanity trample them while en route to greener pastures.